This is Tuesday. She was diagnosed just a few short months ago with stage 4 cancer, at only 18 months old. She recently passed away at home with her loving family and twin sister. I happened upon her family's
blog and it brought tears to my eyes, especially because my eldest son just turned 2. Through reading about Tuesday and her journey it made me realize how short life is and how we must always try to bring ourselves back to the present moment. To "Be Here Now."
As a parent I have come to believe that it truly is the hardest job, yet the most rewarding. Yes, it sounds cliche, but it is true. When you become a parent time speeds up and change happens too quickly and right before your very eyes. I feel like high school was yesterday, but it feels as though my eldest was just born an hour ago. Time has gone from being a super-charged sports car, to a space shuttle zooming into orbit. And it all shifts in an instant when your first child is born.
With children life has become richer and more meaningful. And yet the truth is, as a parent, I have learned (have had no choice really) to let go more and more. To let go of what was and what could be. I witness changes that happen so quickly that I don't really have time to become too attached to the past. Though, attachment seems to happen anyway:
Where did my baby go? He's not saying "gah goo" anymore. It is now a clear "thank you." I have taken, and continue to take, numerous amounts of amateur footage of my children because of these instantaneous growths. I know deep down I will miss these moments immensely. Looking back at my life I see the progress, and sometimes back steps, that I have made. It is clear now, but it wasn't while I was growing-up. But with my kids I see this "growing-up" as it happens. Like a snake they shed each layer of skin to reveal a new, stronger self. All right in front of me, while I am holding their hands and brushing their teeth.
This pace is teaching me to slow down. To pay attention. To focus on the little moments of book reading, hugs, kisses, and even the temper tantrums, which all end in my lap with a hug. Really, these moments aren't small, they are huge. Huge in both mine and my children's lives. But when I read the
blog about Tuesday it really made me think:
Am I slowing down enough? I don't know how much time is left for any of us, so why am I getting upset when they need me more than usual? I should be here in this moment fully with them because in what will be the blink of an eye they won't need me as much anymore.Tuesday helped me to remember that you can't take life for granted. You can't take the time with your kids for granted. I am sure she has taught and touched so many, especially her family. And especially her parents, who I commend for being as strong as they are in this sad and difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with them, and I am sure yours are now too.
Thank you Tuesday! God Bless and Namaste!
